Our Purpose
(The website template says I am supposed to have a purpose. OK... uh... Sell funny books?)
Tell Me More About This Glorious Novel!
I'm not trying to get a charley-horse from patting myself on the back or anything, but this is one funny book. I mean, I wrote the idiotic thing, and some of the stuff in there still makes me laugh. (Which, now that I think of it, might be an indicator of a really funny book, or of an emerging mental disorder... but who cares.)
But anyhow, if you like funny books, well, maybe you should give 'er a whirl.
If you despise Post-Apocalyptic comedies, I recommend that you purchase it in order to soberly pore over it for grammatical errors and plot holes, and then put out a scathing 5 star review. Whatever you do try not to enjoy it.
A Coloring Book of Post Apocalyptic Proportions!
No, wait! It's just a kid's coloring book... It's nice and all, I suppose. It's all about the beautiful little town of Melrose, Florida! Kids might like it. But they'd probably rather read about a gun-battle or two , and this one has none of that. Soo, I will have photos of the actual book, instead of clip art of hipsters holding cellular telephones!
Coming Soon!
BLOOD
and EFFLUENT!
Plumber from the year 3000!
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A Tale of Plumbing, Preventative Maintenance and High-Adventure!
Travel to the year 3000 (well, just a couple weeks before that) where society is beginning to panic about the upcoming Y3K! Jump into our Hero-Plumber's trusty golf-cart and tour the fascinating inner-workings of the City's sewage facility! Experience epic battles, genetically mutated manatees, swooping blimp-battles and best of all... lurid (yet accurate) depictions of explosive plumbing-on-plumbing-action!
Don't wait till the year 3000! Use the broken link above to pre-order yours today!
Holy-Smokes, I have a website! Life just keeps getting better and better! Can anyone help me change the font?
Also Coming Soon(ish)!
Blood and Hydrilla!
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A cautionary tale of unintended consequences!
Have you ever wanted to swim with the noble and majestic, (yet illegal-to-fondle) Manatees?
Sure you have! Who hasn't? Well, if you need to work your way past your unhealthy fixation with manatees, look no further than this upcoming novel! The horrors of monstrously mutated manatees will haunt you! Each time you wade into the testicle-retractingly frigid waters of Florida's pristine springs, you ill wonder if the vicious manatee-attacks were really just fiction, or somehow really, terribly real...
This is an Enviro-horror-thriller-romance like none other in the genre! Read it today. (Oh, wait. I haven't finished it yet... forget that.) Read it Soon!